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Pregnancy: Navigating It as Partners

You just found out you’re expecting. Excitement, fear, joy, anxiety — maybe all at once. But here’s what nobody tells you: pregnancy isn’t just a medical journey. It’s a relationship journey. And how you navigate these 9 months shapes what comes after.

Pregnancy Changes Everything — Including Your Relationship

Most relationship advice jumps from “dating” to “having kids.” But pregnancy itself is a distinct transition — 9 months of physical, emotional, and relational changes that research shows significantly impact couples.

Understanding what’s happening — in both partners — can transform this period from something you survive into something that strengthens your bond.

Emotional Changes During Pregnancy

What’s Happening (And Why)

Pregnancy triggers significant emotional shifts, and they’re not just “mood swings.”

The numbers are striking:

  • 20-40% of pregnant women experience clinically significant anxiety or depression during pregnancy[1]
  • In one study, 21% experienced high anxiety and 20% reported clinically significant depression[2]
  • These aren’t character flaws — they’re biological responses to massive hormonal shifts

The biology: Progesterone and other hormones affect mood regulation, particularly in the first trimester. This can cause rapid emotional fluctuations, increased anxiety, irritability, and heightened sensitivity.[1]

The Partner’s Role Is Crucial

Here’s a finding that should change how partners approach pregnancy:

A study found that the partner’s emotional reaction to pregnancy significantly mediated prenatal depression and anxiety.[3] In other words: how you respond to the pregnancy matters enormously for your partner’s mental health.

What this means practically:

  • Your enthusiasm (or lack of it) directly affects her emotional state
  • Dismissing concerns as “just hormones” can worsen anxiety
  • Active emotional support isn’t optional — it’s protective

Both Partners Are Affected

Pregnancy doesn’t just happen to one person. Research increasingly recognizes that both partners experience psychological changes:

  • Partners may experience their own anxiety about becoming parents
  • Financial stress affects both
  • Relationship uncertainty affects both
  • Up to 3.18% of couples experience depression in both partners during the late postnatal period (3-12 months postpartum)[4]

The protective factor: Open communication about both partners’ fears, excitement, and concerns.

Physical Needs: What Partners Should Know

The Knowledge Gap

Research reveals a troubling pattern: partners often don’t know what they don’t know.

A study found that men’s understanding of safe activities during pregnancy is limited, leading many to believe it’s safer to avoid physical activity altogether — which isn’t true.[5]

This matters because:

  • Partner support for healthy behaviors (exercise, nutrition) correlates with maternal health outcomes
  • Uninformed partners may inadvertently discourage beneficial activities
  • Knowledge gaps can create unnecessary conflict

Physical Changes Affect Intimacy

Sexual intimacy typically changes during pregnancy:

  • Gradual decline in sexual activity throughout pregnancy, sharper in third trimester[6]
  • Changes in desire, comfort, and physical logistics
  • Many couples don’t discuss these changes openly

What helps:

  • Acknowledging that changes are normal
  • Communicating about comfort levels without pressure
  • Expanding definitions of intimacy beyond intercourse
  • Understanding that physical affection remains important even when sex decreases

The Communication Bridge

Research shows that high levels of positive communication lead to better mental health for both partners during pregnancy.[7]

Marital satisfaction is a significant predictor of pregnancy anxiety.[7] The relationship itself is either a buffer or a stressor.

Partner Involvement: What Research Shows

Support Predicts Outcomes

A landmark study found that mothers who perceived stronger social support from their partners mid-pregnancy had:[8]

  • Lower emotional distress postpartum
  • Infants who were less distressed in response to novelty
  • Better overall adjustment to parenthood

Partner support during pregnancy isn’t just nice — it predicts outcomes for mother, relationship, AND baby.

What Effective Support Looks Like

A meta-analysis of 120 publications identified specific partner behaviors that protect against perinatal depression and anxiety:[9]

Protective against both depression AND anxiety:

  • Emotional closeness
  • Global support (being there)

Protective against depression specifically:

  • Good communication
  • Minimizing conflict
  • Both emotional AND practical support
  • Relationship satisfaction

The researchers’ recommendation: Prevention programs should focus on enhancing relationship satisfaction, communication, emotional closeness, and practical support while minimizing conflict.

Daily Stress and Connection

A study tracking couples daily found that higher-than-usual stress negatively affected relationship satisfaction for both partners.[10]

But: Partner support and connection (intimacy, passion, commitment) attenuated this link. In other words, stress hurts — but support buffers.

Complications: What Partners Need to Know

The Awareness Gap

Here’s an alarming finding: Most partners don’t know enough about pregnancy complications to recognize warning signs.

A study found:[11]

  • Only 30.6% of women and 24% of men recognized that pregnancy increased risks for serious conditions
  • Only 5% of both correctly identified all major health risks
  • A partner with limited knowledge may not recognize warning signs or seek care in time

Why This Matters

In studies from low-income countries, men whose partners had previous obstetric complications demonstrated three times greater knowledge of danger signs compared to men whose partners had no complications.[12]

Translation: Most men only learn about complications after experiencing them — which is too late.

What Partners Should Know

Warning signs that require immediate medical attention:

  • Severe headaches or vision changes
  • Severe abdominal pain
  • Heavy bleeding
  • Decreased fetal movement
  • Signs of preterm labor
  • Sudden swelling (face, hands)
  • High fever

The principle: It’s better to call and be reassured than to wait and miss something serious.

Indian Context: Specific Considerations

Research on pregnancy in India reveals additional factors that affect couples:

Prevalence of Mental Health Challenges

  • Overall prevalence of antenatal common mental disorders: approximately 22%[13]
  • Postpartum depression prevalence: 22% (range: 4-48.5% across studies)[14]
  • Partner support significantly reduces PPD risk (nearly 5-fold reduction)[14]

Cultural Factors

Research identifies specific risk factors in the Indian context:[13]

  • Relationship with in-laws can significantly impact maternal mental health
  • Unplanned pregnancies carry additional stigma and stress
  • Gender preference for male children creates pressure
  • Extended family dynamics play larger role than in Western contexts

The Protective Power of Support

Studies consistently find that support from spouse is one of the strongest protective factors against perinatal mental health problems in India.[14]

This isn’t just emotional support — it includes:

  • Accompanying to medical appointments
  • Advocating within family systems
  • Sharing household responsibilities
  • Providing financial security
  • Emotional availability

Preparing Together: The Relationship Foundation

Why Pre-Baby Relationship Quality Matters

Research consistently shows that relationship quality before pregnancy predicts how couples navigate parenthood.

  • Couples with stronger foundations before baby show more resilience
  • Problems that existed before pregnancy typically intensify, not disappear
  • Investment in the relationship during pregnancy pays dividends after

What to Discuss During Pregnancy

Practical:

  • Division of childcare responsibilities
  • Financial planning and adjustments
  • Work arrangements (leave, return plans)
  • Living situation changes
  • Support systems (family, friends, professional)

Relational:

  • How will we maintain our connection as partners, not just parents?
  • What are our fears about becoming parents?
  • How will we handle disagreements about parenting?
  • What support do each of us need?

Medical:

  • Birth preferences and flexibility
  • Comfort levels with interventions
  • Postpartum support plans
  • Mental health check-in plans

The Coparenting Relationship Starts Now

Research shows that the coparenting relationship — how you work together as parents — is more strongly related to child outcomes than the general romantic relationship.[15]

This relationship starts forming during pregnancy:

  • How do you make decisions together?
  • How do you handle disagreements?
  • Can you function as a team under stress?
  • Do you support each other’s parenting instincts?

Reflection

Consider these questions as you navigate pregnancy:

  1. How openly are you both discussing your emotional experiences?
  2. Does the partner feel equipped to provide informed support?
  3. What fears or anxieties haven’t been voiced yet?
  4. How will you maintain your relationship identity during this transition?
  5. What support structures are you building for after birth?

One Thing to Try

Have the “How are we doing?” conversation weekly.

Pregnancy is long. Things change week to week. Set a recurring time to check in:

  • How are you feeling physically? Emotionally?
  • What do you need from me this week?
  • What’s worrying you?
  • What are you looking forward to?
  • How are we doing as a couple?

This simple practice builds the communication habits you’ll desperately need after baby arrives.

References

  1. Assessment of emotional status and risk factors in early pregnancy. BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth. doi:10.1186/s12884-025-08253-0

  2. Mood instability, depression, and anxiety in pregnancy and adverse neonatal outcomes. BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth. doi:10.1186/s12884-021-04021-y

  3. Partner’s emotional reaction to pregnancy mediates the relationship between pregnancy planning and prenatal mental health. BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth. doi:10.1186/s12884-021-03644-5

  4. Prevalence of Perinatal Depression and Anxiety in Both Parents. JAMA Network Open, 2022. Full text

  5. Investigating partner involvement in pregnancy. BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth. doi:10.1186/s12884-021-03917-z

  6. Evaluation of Couple’s Sexual Function after Childbirth with the Biopsychosocial Model. Healthcare, 2021. PMC8607885

  7. Couples Communication Skills and Anxiety of Pregnancy. Iranian Red Crescent Medical Journal. PMC4610665

  8. Tanner Stapleton, L. R., Dunkel Schetter, C., Westling, E., Rini, C., Glynn, L. M., Hobel, C. J., & Sandman, C. A. (2012). Perceived partner support in pregnancy predicts lower maternal and infant distress. Journal of Family Psychology, 26(3), 453-463. doi:10.1037/a0028332

  9. Pilkington, P. D., Whelan, T. A., & Milne, L. C. (2015). Modifiable partner factors associated with perinatal depression and anxiety: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Journal of Affective Disorders, 178, 165-180. doi:10.1016/j.jad.2015.02.023

  10. Partner Support and Connection Protect Couples During Pregnancy: A Daily Diary Investigation. Frontiers in Psychology. PMC9109830

  11. Mellon, M., et al. (2020). Awareness of Pregnancy-Associated Health Risks Among Pregnant Women and Male Partners. Journal of Women’s Health, 29(1), 67-75. Full text

  12. Men’s knowledge of obstetrics danger sign in low-income countries: systematic review and meta-analysis. Scientific Reports, 2025. Full text

  13. Antenatal depression and anxiety in Indian women: A systematic review. Archives of Women’s Mental Health. PMC10756614

  14. Prevalence and associated risk factors of postpartum depression in India. Scientific Reports. PMC10927066

  15. Coparenting and the Transition to Parenthood: A Framework for Prevention. Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review. PMC3161510

Next: Relationship Maintenance Rituals — daily, weekly, and yearly practices that keep relationships healthy.

Related: Navigating Major Life Transitions — including the transition to parenthood after pregnancy.